Thursday, October 16, 2008

We Love You


A year ago today I went into see a doctor in Utah because I hadn't felt you move for a day. I remember sitting in the chair when Dr. Woolsey told me that something had happened and he could not get a heart beat. I tried to hold in my tears while I sat there alone on the chair with so many emotions going through my body. Could this really be happing I thought.
I immediately called Taylor (who was getting on a plane to Europe) and told him what had happened.

When I delivered I remember holding you and wishing so bad that you would just start crying and that everything would be ok. You where perfect in every way. I don't know why you were not able to come to our family on this earth, but I'm so grateful for the chance that I will be able to see you again. I just have to wait a little bit loner then I thought.

I love you Mia and I think about you everyday. I think about what you would be doing at this time in your life, and wish so bad that you where with our family.

Thankyou to my sweet family and especially my mom who puts flowers on her headstone every other day for us.

18 comments:

Troy, Kristin, and Two Rug Rats said...

What a beautiful post. I can never imagine what you must have gone through on that day, and everyday thereafter. You are so strong Kaycee, I look up to you so much. Thank goodness for the knowledge that we have of the afterlife, and your beautiful testimony that you will be able to raise Mia some day.

Lulu said...

Wow Kaycee, that was beautiful! I was crying. lol
You seriously are a pillar of strength. What a blessing it is for us as LDS to know Gods plan and find comfort in his Gospel in times of hardship.
You're great!

Jolanda said...

Oh Kaycee, that brought tears to my eyes. I wish we could have gotten to know her too. Through this pregnancy I often think about Mia and you and Taylor and I can't imagine going through what you guys did. You guys are so strong.

Jess said...

What a beautiful tribute to your sweet baby girl. I am so glad you have a wonderful family and your testimony to sustain you.

gina bina said...

You are so sweet. That was beautiful! Thanks for sharing.

Grant and Emily said...

Taylor and Kaycee- We think about you and your sweet baby often. You have been in our thoughts and prayers. We are so grateful for your friendship. It's difficult for us to see our close friends go through hard times like this the past year. It was great seeing you in New York and Utah. Hopefully we can get together w/ all of you soon. Let us know when you are in town next. We love you and are very excited for your upcoming arrival.

Parker Family said...

Trying to hold back the tears, you are so strong! I think about you often and can't wait to meet the new addition to the Leishman family. Thanks for the reminder of how precious life is, we are so blessed!

Sherwoods said...

Ah man, you made me cry! I know exactly what you mean about thinking about her every day and wondering what she would be doing right now! Next time I am up at the cemetary, I will find her and take her some flowers for you! I hope all goes well with your upcoming delivery!

Taryn said...

I cannot imagine how difficult that was. That was a beautiful tribute.

Emily said...

I can't imagine how sad and painful that was for you Kaycee. I know you will have the chance to hold her again. I am so glad this pregnancy is going well and we can't wait to meet the new little guy.

Mistie said...

Oh boy... i have chills. What a hard thing you endured and continue to endure every day. I cant imagine. You are such a strong girl.

Addy said...

What a beautiful headstone and sweet tribute. I loved Pres. Uchtdorf's conference talk about hope. It was such a good reminder to look forward to seeing God's promises fulfilled. I am so glad you can have that hope for your baby girl.

Shannon said...

Kaycee, That was so heart felt! I can't imagine what that must have felt like for you and Taylor. You have such strength, you are an inspiration to mothers. Thank you for sharing that. I love you and miss you!

Brett & Dyana Valdez said...

Kaycee,
What a strong mother in Zion you are. Thanks for sharing your story to strengthen us all. How important families are...but even greater the knowledge of families are forever. Let me know when the next addition arrives!

matt, camee, tyty, kaylee and jayce said...

So beautiful kaycee!! You are amazing and i love you!! :) how are you feeling?? I hope all is going fabulous!!!!!

The DeWitt House said...

I am really behind on blog reading....I was crying, you are a rock! I look up to you and love you!! You are amazing!

Naomi said...

Seriously Kaycee, you are sooooo strong and such an example to me and thanx for making me cry first thing in the morning! I love your simple and sweet words to Mia and I am so grateful for the knowledge that we do have that we will be able to see our loved ones again that have gone before us. Just like you said "just have to wait a little longer." Love ya!

gretchen said...

Kaycee, I had no idea! What a beautiful post, and I admire your strength! I'm so glad you and Gavin are healthy and well.